Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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