Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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