Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
