Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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