the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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