so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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