after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
