u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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