nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize