dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I will pee on everything he values.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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