You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
