i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
