I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
