it was like eating out sand paper
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
