Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Damn victory sex feels great
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
