Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
