I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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