what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
