She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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