I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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