Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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