What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
