If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
