Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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