I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
