S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
