Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
