its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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