i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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