your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
