I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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