Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
