hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
