Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
