im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm like, not good at living.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
