he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
