I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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