508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
