I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
