I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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