i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
