Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
