I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
