you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
