Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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