Where is the hickey?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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