it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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