if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize