Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize