She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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