A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Green mimosas i think yes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
false alarm, still single
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