Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
