Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
