from now on my penis is your penis
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
