Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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