I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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