I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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