why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
