and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
