I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
