The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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