I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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