Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
